Diagnosis: White-Line Fever

I know what you’re thinking, he wouldn’t fill a match report with poor attempts at medical puns or tenuous references but unfortunately that’s not how I play ball.

Following some behind the scenes triaging, Leeds Medics arrived with 11 players for Saturday’s merit table clash and to their credit it meant that a game could happen, plenty of sides would have cried off and sulked but not these boys. Thankfully Leos had a starting cast of ~21 which meant we could share a few players.

A grumble of the Cadgeree’s tummy kicked off proceedings, a slight miscommunication of the VPs lunch meant that he went without you see.

The early exchanges set the tone for the rest of the game, Leos carried hard and drove round the fringes but the medics held firm, committing men like a scene from A&E.

A break down the right however saw ‘Big Willy O’ Will Ofushene dissect his would be tacklers, stepping and weaving his way beneath the sticks followed by a clinical conversion courtesy of Charles Bach.

The next half hour was quite something, unable to get a proper foothold in the game, or retain much possession, Leos found themselves defending as if their lives depended on it.

Phase after phase was repelled but the downright miserable playing conditions coughed up little more than reset scrums and a skirmish in the Leos 22. Medics finally broke through when captain Ben donned a cape and supermanned into the far corner, proper ‘Moët Medic’ rugby!

Leos started to establish some dominance in the lineout with Neil Shaw calling the shots and the pack gaining some hard yards. The backs were released and had Rich Edgar’s shorts not decided to rip in two there’s every chance he could have slithered his way through for a second score... He had to wait a bit to eventually dot down. An awkward conversion duly nudged by Charles.

The home side were gaining ascendency.

Discipline was lacking however and Leos conceded at least 10 penalties in as many minutes, a card was looming and following some off the feet play, Si Winterburn took one for the team and spent the remainder of the half on the naughty step.

A man down, the boys in blue held firm, shutting the opposition out for the remainder of the half despite the visitors best efforts with one try being disallowed with an inconclusive grounding, not quite the safe hands you’d expect from a potential surgeon.

With some penalties starting to favour Leos, territory was the order of the day and they edged closer to the enemy line only to be turned over when knocking on the door.

A jarring hit from Jack Walsh saw one of the medics take a bit of a breather which signalled the end of the first half, plenty of positives but a lot to work on in terms of discipline, a slender, well deserved lead so far.

With a bit more pep, the medics opened the half well, some half time pharmaceuticals perhaps!

The second half offered much of the same, the drizzle made the mud that bit slicker and plenty of ball was squandered by both sides. Oddly enough, at this festive time of the year the ball was starting to resemble a creme egg.

An injury early in the half further depleted the medics resources, for a group of lads used to cuts, they accepted that fate fairly swiftly and Leos lended a 5th player to help them along. Put that on the side of a bus!

A few sub plots started to develop between players. Medics hooker and John Quinlan had a few clashes, despite the hooker getting an early upper hand, JQ equalised in trademark style as onlookers winced. Matt Dallingwater, Si Winterburn, Carl Stephenson and Si Haworth carried again and again and again, making repeat appointments with the medics back row, at times it was as if they were the only ones in the queue.

Despite this it was medics that struck next, a kick chase and broken play spread Leos defence like a gyno. Some slick, intrusive play paid dividends to bag the visitors a much needed try, a shot in the arm if you will. Medic for a day Tom Bartlett took the honours, his efforts for both sides were strong and a good performance for a lad who was playing his first competitive game for 3 years.

Having learned the hard way in so many fixtures before, Leos were not going to let this one slip. The second medics try had a galvanising effect on the side who approached the next kick off with new found tenacity.

The pack really upped their carrying but the control, decision making and distribution of Tom Gedye distinctly went up a notch. The diminutive 9 bossed his fat lads around and even took a few carries himself to provide a platform that slowly ground the medics into a stupor.

A hint of greed did rear its head at times when the pack took one pick and go too many, much to the dismay of the backs who could see nothing but open space in front of them but the power play was working.

After so many near misses, Winterburn eventually put the game to bed, isolating the medics wing and barrelling over. Charles’ surgical boot added the extras and sealed the deal.

Last play bellowed the Cadgeree as Leos turned to receive one last kick off... Knowing a bonus point was at stake, the message was a simple one. We don’t leave the pitch without a fourth.

With a few ghosts of third team past lining the field and a small wag contingent, Leos had to give the audience something special. With the clock now in red, the medics looked to be heavily anaesthetised at the kick off.

Si Haworth leapt on a loose ball, freeing Winterburn who offloaded to pocket rocket Gedye to go 50m unchallenged, over the whitewash and into folk lore.

Celebrations ensued as the 9 was quickly jumped upon by jubilant teammates. His resultant conversion went to touch but it didn’t matter. 5 points, a lion heart defence and a renewed grit were all handsome takeaways for the 3s.

Whilst the backs didn’t get a great deal of ball, the sniffs they did have were promising with both Walsh and Brendan Foss making good yards with some well picked lines in the centres, Charles also coped well under the high ball and recovered territory well at 15.

Plaudits must go to the pack who ran all afternoon and tackled into the ground, perhaps the uncontested scrums afforded a little extra energy but man of the match goes to Tom Gedye for another strong all round performance from the young lad.

A final thank you to the Leos who volunteered their services for the medics, Jordan Cummings had updated his tinder to ‘Leeds Uni Medic’ within 5 minutes of the final whistle and Ben Jones showed what a thorn in the side he can be at the ruck.

The question does however have to be asked that in a team composed of future doctors and dentists, whose bright idea was it to put Richard Carter in charge of the lineout?!

No doubt another uni for Tricky to add to his CV!