Leo’s Triumph at Murrayfield

On the back of a 14 hour drinking binge-a-thon the gallant tourists assembled at Murrayfield, (yes that one, just outside, in the shadow of the stand) to take on their hosts without a recognised half back and only three fit regular non forwards in the squad.
Scotty bagged the scrum half shirt with the cry of “How hard can this be?” and took on the role of Disdainful Distributor (no carries, no cheeky blinds, one box kick, two dive passes) supplying Blind Side JP at 10 with a selection of slow and slower passes, or just feeding any loitering Leo. Rido added the clownfooted bosh-ups and so the scene was set for an attritional “pop and drive recycle to the forwards and go again” type of game from which a new breed of hero emerged. With a decent amount of clean, if rather ponderously distributed ball being won the forwards were called upon to work their dehydrated arses off in the close quarter conflict. Thommo, Westwood and Carl all made themselves available for the Disdainful Distributor as phase after phase was worked through to earn territory. The ball rarely got out to the rampager Kenroy, or the speedsters while the pack was in such commanding form. Scrums were solid and the lineouts secure as the pressure built. Eventually Henry The Dog, fresh as a Daisy (that’s Daisy the Labrador) crashed over and Scotty added the extras.
The game continued in the same pattern until Edinburgh allowed Dog over for a second and Scotty calmly slotted over the conversion. The backs were allowed to have a turn but when the ball went wide and loose the lively less hungover Edinburgh backs were a little quicker to respond and return with interest and two quick tries were conceded before The Fozaree called for the half time refreshments with the score at 14-10 to the English.
The second half began with Leo’s reverting to plan A. The Disdainful Distributor fed Blindside 10 who careered back towards the forwards for recycling and repetitious phases. Henry scored his hat-trick try and a 21-10 lead was secured before some substitute mayhem ensued. KInga returned from his broken ankle, demonstrating unusual speed to make a crunching tackle before drooping to the floor, and having to limp off. Lloyd then came on and attempted to regurgitate his early season form before broken Ben had his mended face tested by Gav hurling the ball straight into it when a sympathetic pass would have led to a try. The pack finished themselves off with a superb 30 yard driving maul which veered left and right before Henry stole the ball off Tom before flopping over for an incredible fourth try.
The gallant Scots had been subdued, but had put in a brave performance in a sporting contest. We all then retired to The Bunker where the Leo’s Eight won the boatrace despite being distracted by Lloyd’s perpetual motion drinking-vomiting display. Henry was the worthy MOM, with Sicknote DOD for his ridiculously comedic and hopeless attempt at a kick. Internationals, Bunnies and Spoons brought an amusing end to another fine day which will no doubt be repeated next year. Thanks to JP for his organisational skills and patience and to the Edinburgh lads for their hospitality.